I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
