so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
