I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
