i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
