Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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