I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This is my gift to your gina
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
