Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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