I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
