Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
