are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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