Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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