I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
