Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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