i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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