found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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