my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
