My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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