god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
