Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
