please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
