weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
