the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
