is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
