I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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