I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
