what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
