I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
