dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
