8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
