I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
