I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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