Redeem this text for a blowjob
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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