I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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