What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
