puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
