it was like his penis was on wheels.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
