last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
