And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
