Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
