I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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