hell yes lets make some ravioli
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
