i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
