When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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