her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
