She said her name was "party"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
