Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
