I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
