ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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