butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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