Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My cat gives me a boner
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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