The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
