Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
