dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
